Would it surprise you to find out that men have drama? In fact sometimes I think they produce more drama than women. They just won’t acknowledge it. Now, if you’re reading this and getting angry, “oh she’s a bleep bleeping feminist...”, then know than I’m not a feminist, I don’t align myself politically with liberalism and I don’t hate men.
I just find it funny that men who want so badly to be in a relationship – say they hate drama. And men that are in relationships claim, they can’t stand it either. Ask yourself if perhaps you’re contributing to the drama OR the fact that you want to be so disconnected and laid back that you really seem super boring and even frustrating to be around.
We all have drama. That’s life. We’d be carpet fibers if we didn’t have drama. I know some people thrive on heightened craziness – so I’m not talking about that level of drama. Just the everyday normal stuff.
Here’s some examples:
You mom dies of cancer. Your father is now left needing round the clock care because of stroke damage and Parkinson’s. You have always been looked down upon in your family and your sibling is the superstar who takes over and shoves you out of the way. You feel estranged and sad amidst terrible grief. You try your best to help out but everything you do – is taken over or redone by your sibling. You try and express yourself but you’re criticized and torn apart.
Your downstairs neighbor doesn’t seem to have concern and respect for other neighbors and plays loud religious music at 10am every day. She puts on some hideous smelling food in a crockpot to cook over night and the smell is so bad it gets into your clothes and bedding. You complain to management who says “we don’t take sides”. Downstairs neighbor then decides to punish you and starts slamming doors on an hourly basis everyday. Then tries to run you down with her SUV. Apartment management still won’t take action – even after you show them a police report.
The father of your young child takes you to court to get custody. You spend thousands of dollars fighting him. Even though he’s a raging alcoholic, the judge awards him half custody and a great deal of visitation. Father gets arrested multiple times for DUIs. Still doesn’t loose custody. Child is diagnosed with Autism. Father still drinks and has child for overnight visits. One day the father is arrested and sentenced to jail time. Gets out and blames you for everything.
Your first born child is getting married. A family member that they have never met invites themselves to the wedding. You’ve made it clear that your daughter and her husband to be is paying for the entire wedding by themselves and so the guest list is limited. But they pressure you to come anyway. The day before the wedding this family member emails a long story about how their horse suddenly became pregnant and had a baby and they have to stay home and take care of it. “Sorry, we can’t come.” (Their dinner and drinks were already paid for).
High school prom. You’ve dated a guy all year, your first real love. You talk about getting married after college. Everyone at school knows you as a couple, you have a lot of connected friends. Prom night is exciting but a little strange. Boyfriend seems a bit off. You stay up all night with another couple watching movies and eating popcorn, etc. That morning when boyfriend drops you off at home, he tells you he’s been seeing another girl at another school all year and is in love with her. He was just dating you and went to prom with you because he wanted to go through all the school stuff with someone that goes to the same school.
Drama. You never asked for things to happen the way they did. Sometimes you just tried to let the storm pass without getting too involved but sometimes you got hurt, angry, confused, contorted. We aren’t robots. But the good part, for most, is we learn. We grow. We adapt. We become more versatile. And so next time some guy (or girl) says they hate drama and don’t stand for any of it…just feel sorry for how stunted their emotional growth is. Their capacity to learn and explore is probably reached a ceiling.
And by the way…the examples above – are real stories. All of them happened to me. And no, I’m not seeking drama. But it’s life and it happens. And I’ve used my drama to be a pretty decent writer. Check out my books for more drama!
McKenzie Devlin 