Nevada

You know  you’re from Nevada if:
You forgot you were born in another state
You blame all your problems on chem trails
You wear Chapstick morning noon and night
Your hair permanently has volume
Allergy season is Fall when the sage and rabbit brush bloom
You let the wind clean off your deck
Walmart has sculptures made from beer packs in every aisle
There is so much static electricity in your house you could start a fire
You hide during the month of August until the Burners and tourists go home
You hardly ever go to Lake Tahoe
You go to Pyramid or Lahontan way too much
You’ve seen at least 3 UFOs
You’ve been chased or harassed by a wild horse
A bear drowns in a golf course water hazard
Sunday means taking out the .45 and doing some desert target practice
You are sure the new influx of California transplants really are bat shit crazy
You are happy without Starbucks on every corner…unless you live in the People’s Commonwealth of Reno
You think Nevada Day should be a national holiday
You have two cars, one for daily use and one for exploring the desert
You are sick of blue ’57 Chevys
You have lived in at least one dwelling that was haunted
You avoid downtown Reno at all costs.
Cheat grass burns rapidly
Swimming in the Truckee river means Penicillin afterward
Dirt and dust are a way of life
What’s wrong with firing up that huge gas grill on the front porch?
You never put chains on during the winter
You don’t know what it’s like to live at low altitude
You know the Bunny Ranch isn’t a rabbit farm
You either have a gambling problem or you don’t
and…..

You’ve dug up a Pinon Pine and tried to replant it in your backyard.